yesterday when i was at the bank, i could’nt help but overhear the senior citizens exchanging their comments. some talked about working under British bosses and how efficient their times were and how the customers were treated like royalty and the many virtues. also they were commenting that times were harder in those days and the present geneneration would never understand the hardships they had to go through as they have so many facilities available at hand.
well perhaps they are right…but i guess every generation has their own share of pain. these people lived through some of the most turbulent times in history…the world wars, partition, riots, emergency, famines and disasters that went out-of-hand. those days facilities available were limited..hospitals, transport, communication systems, accomodation, jobs, commodities etc. finances were in a permanent crunch and there were not many alternatives available to uplift ones finacial or social condition.
on the other hand, we live in a time of glitz and glamour, where in-your-face consumerism rules supreme and there is no escaping it. but behind the glares are the dark corners of despair…of longing…for a share of the life that is tom-tomed everywhere. some long for a little, some for more and some for just that tad bit of stability. we have been born to see swarming millions around us, job interviews where a 1000 folks fight for that solitary slot, queues of young faces waiting to get a seat at a college. children slip into depression in kindergarten, board-examinees hang themselves, ragging, unemployment, peer-pressure and worse the pressure that we subject ourselves to …we have our own share of evils to fight. and worse we fight them alone…because most of it is inside our minds.
I’ve realised that there are certain things about my life I cannot change and now I’ve decided to go with the flow. A couple of years ago the very thought of me resigning myself to fate or circumstances would have been unthinkable. Somewhere along the way, I just grew up and hadn’t even realised it. I’ve spent too many days and nights in pitiful self-despair, too many hours of helplessness engulfed me till one day I found myself going numb. Now it doesn’t hurt anymore, or if it does I don’t feel it (don’t suppose it makes sense but still…). I’ve given up on what could have or should have been, I’ve given up on what will or can be, I’m just living what is.