I just heard from a friend who is scheduled to get married this summer. After the usual jokes about how messy a wedding can be in the heat and sweat of june, she told me about her fiance. She had met him at work and they fell in love over a pile of files. Although they were in different departments in the same building their duty regularly overlapped. The would-be husband was in line for a promotion in the near future, as a result of which my friend might have to report to him at times. I asked her if it would be a problem for her to have, her own husband as her boss. as of now she is not concerned but is apprehensive as their work involves operational pressures and the heat is often passed down through the tiers. If the shove comes to push, then she would not hesitate to part ways in the professional front to maintain peace at home.
It might sound one-sided but perhaps is the easiest and safest solution to a problem of this nature. people often preach that personal and professional relationships are as different as chalk and cheddar cheese but it cant be denied that events and emotions from both the fronts are carried well into the other. i believe that the human mind is not like an electric circuit which can be switched off with the press of a button. if a person is distrubed at work it does effect him/her at home as well and vice versa. things might take an ugly turn if the spouse is also involved at both the areas.
taking my friend as a working example….what if she commits a mistake at the workplace and is severely reprimanded by her boss, also her husband. surely it would hurt her just like it would hurt any other employee and she would carry her bitterness home only, but would find the very same person in there. a husband and wife share a relationship that depends primarily upon their own interactions and sense of honour. they look to each other for support, protection, consolation, sympathy and respect. their interactions between the four walls of their home are their own, but in public both of them are morally responsible to abstract the internal workings of the relationship so as not to tarnish the image of each other. if the wife is reprimanded in public she would suffer humiliation at the hands of the very same person who pledged to protect her. the resentment would affect the relationship at home as well. even if the husband tries to make up for his actions at the workplace he can hardly wipe out the hurt and pain. and it would be carried over to the office the next day when they have to pick up the halfdone work of the day before.
i for one believe that husbands and wives should try to avoid sharing the same workplace. they already share each others personal lives and if the professional arena overlaps as well then the relationship might turn claustrophobic. besides being each others’ “better” halves, they ought to have a half for themselves for the individual breathing space it allows. afterall, at the end of the day everyone needs to share a few stories and laughs with the person they love.